We’re Not So Different After All
It is March 4th 2020. For those not paying attention at home, 2020 is a presidential election year… lucky us. Over the course of the last six months the field of what felt like 792 Democratic candidates at the beginning has whittled its way down to what will be a battle of two old guys trying to take the just barely younger, but still old, (and maybe orange) guys seat in the Oval Office.
Now, the name of this site is Beginner Bourbon, so where am I going with this? Well like I said, it’s 2020, and regardless of which side of the political spectrum you fall on, I think we’ve all forgotten how to take a step back and laugh. With that said, let’s talk about which Bourbon most closely represents one of the candidates, or current president, you will be voting for this coming November. A few things to note: As Joe Rogan likes to say on his podcasts “I am a fu**ing Idiot” and while we all know Rogan is actually a very smart guy, that sentiment should resonate because it means we should always be trying to listen and learn, instead of control and criticize. I have a very basic understanding of todays political world, so take the fun I poke below with a grain of salt, and if you feel your blood pressure rising, pour another glass of Bourbon and chill out. I’m not doing a deep dive on Russian dealings with our government, I’m trying to tell you how our fast-food loving president has something in common with Stagg Jr Batch 12.
Current President - Donald Trump: Stagg Jr Batch 12
Donald Trump… What can I say that hasn’t already been said? Well since we’re comparing him to Bourbon, this may be the first fresh Donny take you’ve read in awhile. Donald takes a lot of flack for getting a head start in life, it’s well known he received a sum of over $1 million from his father in his late 20’s or early 30’s. Kind of sounds like being a product that Buffalo Trace Distillery releases, because sure as shit, If Buffalo Trace releases it, it will turn to allocated Gold… or just a dusty trophy priced at 10x MSRP on your local stores top shelf. I kid, Buffalo Trace makes quality Bourbon, from their $12 Benchmark to $45 Elmer T. Lee, at their retail prices Buffalo Trace products are among the best in Whiskey. The one dark horse of Buffalo Trace allocated products over the years has been Stagg Jr. While it’s big brother George T. Stagg gets unwavering love from Bourbon fans, prior to 2019’s release, Stagg Jr was a bit of a love/hate for most Bourbon consumers. Regularly coming in at high proofs, this wasn’t your entry level pour, and many found it lacking complexity. Many reviews would end by saying spend your money on Elijah Craig Barrel Proof when in the $50-$60 range. All of this predated the fall 2019 release of Stagg Jr batch 12. By the end of the year, many bourbon personalities were giving Stagg Jr their award for top Bourbon of the year.
Say what you want about our president, but he won what many feel is the top award in this country, he was elected president. While Stagg Jr is never going to be for everyone, batch 12 was 132 proof, it is more than likely here to stay, and its run is likely far from over. Stagg Jr is big, bold and in your face, sound like anyone?
Democratic Candidate - Bernie Sanders: Pappy Van Winkle
Prior to Super Tuesday, it appeared that Ole’ Bernie was going to run away with the Democratic nomination, but as of today, Biden has made a historic comeback and it appears this will be a race all the way until the Democratic Convention in July. Bernie is Democratic Socialist hailing from Brooklyn. Bernie has been involved in Government for decades and his agenda has largely remained un-changed over the years. Whether campaigning for president, or lobbying as a Senator, Bernie mainly wants to tackle the issue of wealth inequality in our country. He has run on the idea that he and his followers are starting a revolution that will reverse the status quo in our country. Love him or hate him, Bernies message over the last decade has been dead consistent. Now, the rest of this comparison only works under the premise that Bernie WANTS TO TAKE ALL OF YOUR MONEY, so bare with me before you accuse people like me for being why Bernie doesn’t get elected.
I’m not going to give you a background on Pappy, if you’re on this website, you know what it is. There is no one Bourbon lineup that threatens your wallet more than Pappy Van Winkle. Each fall Bourbon fans stalk stores, sleepover in parking lots before release days, and end up shelling out hundreds and hundreds of dollars just to earn the points at big stores to get the right to buy, or like us in NY state, to just get their local store owner to notice them. My personal Pappy “hunting” technique revolves around giving a select few stores my business, knowing the manager, and hoping when the shipment comes in around the Holidays, they save me a bottle at a fair price. So, what do Bernie and Pappy have in common? Money out the door, ALL OF YOUR MONEY. Pappy commands prices from their starting retail of under $100 for Old Rip and Lot B Van Winkle to the crazy secondary prices on Pappy 23 that can exceed $2,000. When it comes to Pappy, you have to pay to play the game, and if Bernie lands In the Oval Office, prepare to PAY!!!
Democratic Candidate - Joe Biden: Woodford Reserve
Joe Biden. If I wrote this a week ago, Joe’s comparison would have been a Bourbon that no longer exists. Up until Super Tuesday, Biden’s campaign was spinning out of control. He looked lost on the debate stage, what was once a smooth operator, was now a rambling former VP who looked like he should have sat this race out. With all of this said, Biden crushed Super Tuesday with the backing of former candidates Mayor Pete and allegedly Crazy Amy (she threw a binder at a staffer and ate a salad with a comb in public … sometimes I drink bourbon out of my shoe, judge me)
Biden’s resurgence made this choice difficult. We’re in the middle of a Bourbon boom, there’s very few bottles that are simultaneously tired and popular. After some thought, and plenty will disagree with me, I’m going with the Woodford Reserve lineup. Woodford is a solid Bourbon. You’re not going to be pissed if this is the well Bourbon at your local bar. Just like Biden is the safest choice for the Democratic party right now. There is nothing wildly offensive about it, but there’s nothing that makes me want to come back for more. Woodford notes? I’m not sure… Vanilla on the nose with a medium finish? Joe Biden, what’s his agenda? I’m not sure… add more jobs? Suffice to say, Woodford is fine, but I’m not spending my $30 on it. I’ll take 4 Roses, Buffalo Trace, Makers Mark all day, all unique in their own way. In the same vein, if I were hypothetically weighing my vote for a Democrat, I probably would’ve rather have spent it on younger blood like Mayor Pete, or a whole new brand of democrat like Andrew Yang. Biden is boring, he’s safe, and I would say he could use a face lift, but watch the mans eyebrows when he talks… they don’t move.
And last but not least, our fallen soldiers category:
Elizabeth Warren - Still technically in the race as of today, good ideas for some, probably better when blended in- Wild Turkey 81
Michael Bloomberg - Lit half a billion on fire to run for a couple of months, wildly popular in some circles, but ended up being a total disappointment for many -Any recent Sazerac 18 year release
I hope you enjoyed this article. It’s probably not without its flaws, but politics can sometimes be taken too seriously, and so can Bourbon.